Falling Inside The Black
by Youkai Koneko
Summary: The love they shared couldn't last forever. Vampire. Human. One had to cave in. Eventually. fic of two OCs cuz I couldn't use Bella or Edward to their full potential. rated T for language and serious situations


_My first Twilight fic. I'm gonna use OCs cuz I'm not sure if I could use the real characters to their full potential._

_I do not own Stephanie Meyer's Twilight or any of the sequels. Though I really wish I did._

_Forgive me if I accidentally rip something off of it.

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**Falling Inside The Black**

I knew he had problems before; being a vampire, being depressed, being watched, and being with me. A human. But he still wasn't back. And Josh keeps his word, despite his problems. 11:00 pm.

That's what time you should've been back.

But it's 11:45 pm now. Still no you. "He'll get here…" I grasped my necklace; the one he gave me. "He always does."

_Tonight I'm so alone _

_This sorrow takes ahold_

I paced around the room, head in my hands. "God, what do I do? I can't control it!" My eyes were black instead of there light gray when I looked in the small mirror. "I can't do this to her!" I punched the mirror, feeling it scrape my knuckles. The shards fell at my feet. As I panted from rage, I spotted a shiny thing poking out of a drawer. I picked it up.

"This could be the answer….He won't hurt her if I stop him…." My thirst wouldn't hurt her if I stopped it…Forever.

_Don't leave me here so cold _

_Never want to be so cold_

Even if he was a vampire, I loved him. No matter what he eats. I got up from my bed and went downstairs, grabbing my keys from the hook on my way out. As I started the Volvo, I couldn't help but worry. "What if he doesn't want to come back?" I shook my head and killed the engine. I'd stay and wait for him. Like I always did. But it was always so cold and empty without him here. I felt weak. In his embrace, I felt warm, and safe. And filled with happiness; love. He's not here now, so I'm cold, empty and helpless. I hated that feeling. I went back inside.

_Your touch used to be so kind _

_Your touch used to give me life_

I found what I needed from the room and jumped out of the window, heading toward the small two bedroom, two bath, two-story house that KeKe and I shared. It wasn't long until I was knocking on the window of her bedroom. I never really did trust myself to sleep in the same bed with her. Not yet, anyway. She was sitting on the bed, holding a pillow to her chest. She looked up. "You're back." I opened the window and stepped in, holding out my arms. She went straight in and I inhaled her scent. I loved her feel, but tonight, even her warm fingertips stroking my neck couldn't change my mind.

"Your smell is intoxicating….I wish I could enjoy it a little longer…" I felt her stiffen a little and then look into my eyes.

_I've waited all this time,_

"Where've you been? I was waiting for almost an hour." He sighed and patted my head. "It's nothing for you to be worried about, love. You should've never been worried…maybe if I could hold you a little longer, the troubled look of yours would wash away."

"Josh, it isn't gonna be the last time I look like that, you're gonna be a vampire forever. But you gotta stop thinking like that. Like you're gonna die at any time….it's not right. You can't die. Not while I'm here." I hugged him tighter, but he didn't return the favor. "Hey, you in there? I can't just hug a rock, y'know." I giggled at the irony and I waved a hand in front of his face. His face was blank, his nostrils flared. "Are you okay?" I felt something when I moved my other hand across his other hand. Something metal. I took a step back. "Josh?" What's going on? Is his self control weakening?

_I've wasted so much time_

I smirked. "Don't worry, love." I had the handgun pointed to my heart. "It's not for you." I had loaded two bullets. Just in case. Inside the bullets, there was the smallest twig, mixed with gunpowder and a spark. I was going to do it, twice, if I had to.

_Don't leave me alone _

_Cause I barely see at all_

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. First, I just tried to make it into one of his jokes, like he always did. "That isn't loaded, isn't it?" I giggled nervously. "You're just messing with me again. 'Sides, it isn't like it could hurt you anyway." I knocked on his shoulder. "You're indestructible!" I looked up and I saw his face still staring at me blankly. I could barely hold it anymore.

"You can't be doing what I think you're doing." I shook my head. No, don't think like that. He's just joking. His face told me otherwise. I felt my eyes water. My vision was getting blurry. "Don't do this…" I grabbed the hand holding the gun and pulled. It wouldn't budge. Tears threatened to spill as I tried again. "Don't do this…." He's not going to leave me….He can't!

_I'm_

_Falling in the black _

_Slipping through the cracks _

_Falling to the depths can I ever go back?_

"You can't stop me." I used my free hand to stop hers from trying fruitlessly to pull my hand away from my body and pushed her onto the bed. The momentum knocked the breath out of her; I could hear the _'whoosh'_. I cocked it. "I'm sorry, love." I pulled the trigger and she screamed. The wood in the bullet ignited and entered my body, striking my heart. I had just set my heart on fire. The momentum made me take a step backward, which sent me over the balcony, falling with a thud on the grass below. I had a smile on my face. I felt the burning effects of my little experiment on my heart, charring my flesh from the inside out.

"Now you- I can't be a threat to her….She won't die." I chuckled. "So this is how it ends…"

_Dreaming of the way it used to be _

_Can you hear me?_

I ran to the balcony and looked down. He was down there, on the ground, smiling and talking to himself. The bullet didn't kill him! I sprinted downstairs and threw the door open, running the short distance from the front door to Josh.

As soon as I got there, I slapped him across the face. I knew it hurt me more than him; my middle finger felt broken. Just like every other time I've smacked him. "Are you fuckin' insane?! Don't you know what that little stunt would've done to me if it worked?! You can't fuckin' do that!" Then I collapsed on his chest and cried, half from happiness that he was alive, half from sadness that he'd try such a thing. At any other time I'd just collapse on his chest and fall asleep, like every other night. But not tonight. "Why the hell would you do that?" He didn't respond.

"Are you listening?" I went up to his face and rubbed his ears; it always got him right up, on reflex. It tickled him. He didn't get up, though; he must be hurting to bad. "Can you hear me?"

_Falling in the black _

_Slipping through the cracks _

_Falling to the depths can I ever go back?_

_Falling inside the black _

_Falling inside _

_Falling inside the black_

I could hear what she was saying and she only curses when she's angry, upset, or both. But I just didn't want to respond. That meant I hadn't died yet. My vision was weak, though. I could hardly see two feet in front of me. That meant that the bullet had at least done some damage. There aren't many things that can almost blind me.

But after seeing the tears falling from her beautiful face, I began to regret what I was doing. I shouldn't do this to her. But if I didn't, KeKe would be dead much sooner. I'm not always there to protect her. And even then, I might not be able to protect her from myself; my thirst. And she deserves someone better than me. She deserves so much better than a monster…

KeKe wiped her eyes and extended her hand. I didn't take it. I didn't want to go back inside.

_You were my source of strength_

"….Josh?"

No response. I felt a lump in my throat grow. "Hey, you need to get up now. Stop playin' around. We gotta get back inside, the others will see!" I shook him a little. I felt weak, just shaking him. I should be trying to heal him. But I don't know how to do that.

_I've traded everything _

_That I love for this one thing _

_Stranded in the offering_

"I went against everything and everyone for you. But now, I might lose you. This is the only way." Now I can't even feel my chest; it was numb, like my soul. She gasped at the sound of my voice. She gave me an incredulous look. "You're not going to lose me; trust me, I'm fine. I can be fixed. But look at _yourself_! You just fuckin' shot yourself with a burning bullet! I was about to lose you, you big idiot! You can't do that to me!" She balled up her fists, and I could see more than just emotional pain in her eyes. Her middle finger was swelling slowly; she must've broken it when she slapped me.

"I'm sorry, love…" My finger went to the trigger again.

_Don't leave me here like this _

_Can't hear me scream from the abyss _

_And now I wish for you my desire _

_Don't leave me alone _

'_Cause I barely see at all_

_Don't leave me alone_

I tried to stop him from doing it again, but just looking at him, his eyes: they were light grey, like they were when he wasn't thirsty. But that isn't right; he was thirsty only 4 minutes ago. I let go and slid my hand underneath the barrel of the gun.

"You're not gonna shoot yourself again. 'Cause you're not gonna shoot me." He simply smiled sadly and got up, though I could see he was straining. "Why are you getting up? Have you finally come to your senses?"

He just smirked and finally got to his feet, slowly walking away from me, clutching his gun to his chest. "Put the gun down!" He cocked it again, aiming it at the same hole the first one went through. "Don't you fuckin' dare!" I ran at him but he had shot himself again. I screamed at the top of my lungs; it's a wonder that the neighbors hadn't heard any of this by now.

He gritted his teeth in unimaginable pain and fell to the ground again, and I knelt by his side, holding his hand. He was convulsing this time; this time must've done it. "N-No…." I felt my tears finally escape, and I bowed my head. "N-No…"

_I'm_

_Falling in the black _

_Slipping through the cracks _

Falling_ to the depths can I ever go back?_

I felt the burning more intensely than the first time, and I knew that I had accomplished my goal. But at what cost?

I flicked my eyes to KeKe, who was openly crying now, not holding any sobs back, just crying her poor heart out. I silently raised my hand, despite the pain, and placed it on her cheek. "It's better this way…You don't need me as much as I need you…."

_Dreaming of the way it used to be _

_Can you hear me?_

"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me! _I_ don't need _you_?" So that's how he felt….I'm his lifeline. I remembered all the good times ad the bad times; he was always there. I couldn't imagine a life without him. Ever since 11th grade, he's been there. "It's because I'm a human, isn't it? Because you get thirsty and don't wanna hurt me!"

I unbuttoned a few buttons on my shirt and pulled it down so the collar was on my shoulder, my neck exposed to the cold November air. "Well, you're hurting me right now, even if there's no mark here. I don't get why you don't get it yet!"

_Falling in the black _

_Slipping through the cracks _

_Falling to the depths can I ever go back?_

I stared at her, appalled by her forwardness. It was like she _wanted_ me to suck her blood. My eyes went black again at the thought. But I can't kill her! I won't be controlled by this thirst! And just the bite would turn her into…

I'm not going to let that happen. No matter how much I need it. No matter how much she needs me. I don't want her to be like me. "No."

"What the hell do you mean?" Her tears were falling freely. My world was turning dark… "KeKe…."

_Falling inside the black _

_Falling inside Falling inside the black_

I couldn't help it anymore. I up and collapsed on his chest, sobbing, howling, wailing, anything. But it still didn't express my grief. He wasn't gonna wake up; this time I knew it. And my blood couldn't help.

"I love you…" It was so soft I almost didn't hear him. Then a deep sigh erupted from his chest, and he burned, slowly at first, and then burst into flame, blackening my face and the hand I was using to hold his. I just stared at the place where he laid in agony just moments before.

"…I-I love y-you too…" It wasn't like those words were gonna bring him back. "I love you too…"

No one would hold a funeral, because no one would know he was dead. All they'd find was ashes. "J-Josh!"

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_So, did ya like it? I personally thought the last part was rushed, but that's my opinion._

_Review to tell me yours!!_


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